by Wendy Palmer Patterson, LCSW, LMFT
Today is the birthday of one of our beloved team members here at P2 Partnerships, Allison Dragony. Yesterday was the birthday of two of our beloved consultants and faculty, Maya Kollman and Jill Fein Baker. Today is a day of lower humidity and beautiful skies in hot Atlanta. Today I met with a couple who is having small successes in their shift into their relationship challenge. Today I have energy to move furniture and make decisions to make our space better.
The most important thing of all is the willingness and ability to take a moment to celebrate and appreciate what’s good in the world. It’s a frightening and sad reality that making the emotional and mental space to notice what’s right with the world takes effort.
I know that our essences want to celebrate and want to experience the joy of the good and right things in our lives. We typically maintain that 60 to 90% of our lives are pretty darn good. Unfortunately, our survival efforts keep us deeply focused on the percentage that’s not right, the things that look and are dangerous, the sadness, the helplessness we experience that can lead to hopelessness we desperately want to fight off.
I just completed teaching the Attuned Therapist advanced course to therapists in Imago. One clear and important direction that we are pursuing in all of our work is self compassion. Kristen Neff’s wonderful contributions are very helpful in this. Look her up!
We can’t help our first thought, but we can help our second thought. With compassionate attitudes toward ourselves and others, we can dramatically effect the mindset that we are using in every encounter.
If we remember that we are all doing the best we know how to do in the moment, and that we can make good repairs for the messy and the dangerous moments, we become safer human beings. In addition, if we are able to fully enjoy, appreciate, and celebrate the good, we become safer human beings primarily because our eyes send the gaze and not the glare.
Wendy Palmer Patterson, LCSW, LMFT
- Learning Not to Jump off the Structure and Other Essential Lessons of Growing Up May 2, 2018
- Intention vs. Impact January 4, 2018
- When Crisis Roars September 21, 2017
- What It’s Like to Take the Getting the Love You Want Workshop June 30, 2017
- What Is It Like To Be In Relationship With You? May 3, 2017